Name: Gordon Heaney
Home town: Glasgow, Scotland
Hobbies: Photography (funnily enough), playing guitar, lifting weights, music, good British TV comedy, a good film, a good book, spending time with wife and kids, onanism
Music: All forms of Rock and Metal, bit of Classical Soundtacks, hate 'pop' with a passion
Movies: Braveheart, 300, Lord of the Rings, Excalibur and loads of others

Gear: Canon 5D Mark III with battery grip, Canon EF 16-35 F2.8 L II USM, Canon EF 70-200mm F/4 L IS USM, LEE filter system with ND Grad soft 0.9 and hard 0.9, Lee Big Stopper, Hoya Pro ND 16 filter, Hoya Pro Polarising filter, Photoshop CS6

Guitars: Gibson Les Paul Studio, Ibanez S7320 7 string, Epi Zakk Wylde with EMG active pick ups, Ibanez RG570, Yahama APX500 acoustic, 5 string bass

Amp: Mesa Boogie Single Rectifier Rectoverb

My motto: MELIOR SICCO IN QUAM   "Better out than in"


Hello you. My name is Gordon Heaney. Weclome to - yes, it took me ages to come up with that site name. I am Scottish. I am in my mid 40's now.


I am also offically middle-aged. Evidence for the prosecution:


  • I am bald and overweight
  • I get annoyed at things that didn't bother me 20 years ago
  • I now make noises when I get in and out of a chair
  • I wear slippers when taking the bins out
  • I hate ITV
  • I like Worthers Originals
  • I hate so-called 'reality' TV and everything about so-called 'celebrities'
  • I think phones are for phoning people
  • I look forward to my 'morning movement'
  • I'd like a new prostate.


But I'm still young at heart. A bit. Evidence for the defence:


  • I still think farts are funny. Which, thankfully, they officially are
  • Er...that's it


And I love photography. Not sure if that makes me middle aged or not? I am bearly even an amateur, but I've always loved a good photo, so I finally decided to put some of them on a website. I have been taking since I was about 10, but have only really got into it in the last 4 years or so.


To give me an idea of who's been visiting me here, you can even slag them off in the guestbook. Enjoy! 

Previous Attempts at Websites

In 2008, I decided I wanted to learn an IT skill, so took up basic web design and HTML/CSS coding. I was useless at it whenever web pages got complex or needed major updating, but nevertheless, using notepad and notepad ++, I designed a (very basic) photography website. It was live for about a year and I don't think anyone visited it other than me to update it. I liked it at the time but grew bored of it (and having to pay to host it). The icons and main image were designed using Powerpoint 2007 ('cos it had some cool transparency settings, and the newly launched IE7 supported transparency!)...

I also tried using just notepad to design and build a website for my kids. It wasn't great, but it taught me a few things - mainly, to get decent software to build and maintain a website. I just got so bored staring at hundreds of lines of code - and getting lost - that I realised I could never have a job in IT. Or website design.

It was a nightmare to maintain, I got easily confused when faced with those hunderds of lines of code, and maintaining the gallery with hundreds of photos was just horrible. So I gave up. But not before I had some fun.........

Pics on the BBC

Some recent appearances on the BBC site (which is nice)


14/02/2015 135,000 hits

Feck knows what you're all looking at, but thanks anyway

11/11/14 105,000 hits

Thanks again for visiting. Gallery page in back in construction again, back very soon

27/10/2014 Coming up for 100,000 hits!

96, 607 so far, thanks to all who have visited

26/10/2014 Flickr on the earlobe

Have spent more time uploading photos to Flickr than here, please see my Flickr link above to have a look

15/03/14 Time for a Change

Bored of the existing design and too many images on this site, have changed the design completely and moved most of the images to Flickr.

11/12/13 Time for another update

Been a while since I uploaded any photos, will do so soon as I've taken loads recently

11/07/13 Venice ze bus due? (read in German accent)

Took the wife to Venice last month for her 40th for a long weekend, took about 2000 shots, will upload best of this week

06/07/13 TV Stardom!

Well, sort of...a the sense of 'not at all'. But surpised and pleased that BBC Scotland contacted me and aksed for full resolution versions of some images I have sent them in the past for the 'Your Pictures of Scotland' web pages. They want to display large lightbox images in the BBC reception area and would like to consider using one or more of my images. Really hope they do.

09/05/13 World's Best Site 'Get's Better' Shock

That's it, I have finally finished updating and reorganising my collection. I hope you enjoy and either buy everything or offer me a job at £100k a year. With car. And holidays equivalent to a teacher. And the same working hours.

07/05/13 9th Photo Sold!

I have decided I don't need to go on the Apprentice now, I am a successful entrepreneur on my own. I am quite happy behaving like an arse at home without behaving like that on prime time TV.

22/02/13 REVAMP!

Some photos will be unavailable to view for a while as I remove a lot of the images from this site, there are just too many mediocre ones!

15/02/13 Call me Mr Bailey

I have now sold 8 photos now! I thought it wouldn't change me, but it has. I now wear sunglasses indoors, drive like an arse and the public must not look me in the eye.

Photo Archive

09/01/13 Transferred over photo collection from one hard drive to another, turns out I have 41,600 photos. Too many??

I'm a Pro!

12/12/12 Sold 2 photos! One for $6.00 and one for 10 cents! I'm a pro! A rich pro! That's it, I'm resigning from my job. Today. Definitely...well, maybe....well, I'll give it another 6 months...or a year


01/11/12 Now using a new LEE filter system, with 0.9 ND Soft Grad and 0.9 ND Hard Grad slot in filters. Used on the Bamburgh Castle shots, seemed to make a difference but practice will be required!

New Lenses

Sept 2012 Got rid of 18-200mm EF-S and replaced with Canon EF 17-40mm F/4 L USM and Canon EF 70-200mm F/4 L IS USM lenses - brilliant to use, much improved image quality

99% done!

02/01/12 I have uploaded all my images now, just one or two things to do then that's it - the worlds least visited site is complete

Merry Xmas!

25/12/11 Nearly finished uploading the photos

Home page now online
19/12/11 It's mid-December, it's feckin freezing and I am now online! It's not even nearly finished but enjoy anyway

Real News!

RSS feed from the BBC news site

BBC News - Home

Coronavirus: Rishi Sunak to unveil 'kickstart jobs scheme' for young people (Wed, 08 Jul 2020)
The £2bn pledge for the young unemployed is part of chancellor Rishi Sunak's coronavirus recovery plan.
>> Read more

Lives ruined by damage dismissed as 'women's problems' (Wed, 08 Jul 2020)
A review finds patients were disbelieved when raising vaginal mesh and other treatment concerns.
>> Read more

Bianca Williams: Met apologises to sprinter over stop-and-search (Wed, 08 Jul 2020)
Dame Cressida Dick also says a senior officer will review the Met's handcuffing practices.
>> Read more

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