Welcome, dear guest! If you've either liked what you've seen here, want to ask or comment on something or just want to slag me off, then you have 160 characters to do so.


Unfortunately, there is so much spam garbage being posted here, I am now having to approve comments before they get uploaded.


Have fun! Unless you're a spammer. You can sod off.


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  • Raymondpymn (Sunday, October 25 15 08:24 am GMT)

    Incredibly individual pleasant website. Enormous details offered on couple of clicks

  • The baby Jesus (Monday, December 29 14 11:25 am GMT)

    As you didn't send me a Christmas card I thought either you were dead or an ignorant c*cksucker like last year. Seems you're not dead. Good website though and you seem to have some talent - for an
    ignorant c*cksucker. Merry Christmas.

  • The workers of Progresu Slaughterhouse, Romania (Saturday, February 23 13 07:33 pm GMT)

    Greetings from Romania! Gordon, your photos are so stunning, it distracts us from the job of shoving horse bollocks into your food.

  • Gordon Heaney (Saturday, February 23 13 07:29 pm GMT)

    Gordon, you've sold 8 photos now, which is immense. You should stop working for Boots Opticians and go professional. Now. Tell them to shove it. Well, not quite in those exact words. Well, you should
    go pro anyway. Maybe. Some day. Possibly. Stick with the job just for now. Just in case. Yes.

  • Oscar Pistorius (Saturday, February 23 13 07:24 pm GMT)

    Gordon, during the difficult months ahead, I will be thinking of your photos. And getting off this murder charge. But mainly your photos.

  • James Saville (Wednesday, January 09 13 07:39 pm GMT)

    Gordon, these are not the kind of photos I normally like, but then who cares, I'm dead

  • Victoria Beckham (Monday, July 09 12 05:42 pm BST)

    Gordon, I am often critised for having no talent, pouting too much and just looking f*cking miserable all the time - which are all valid criticisms. Your photo's make me smile - which is f*cking hard
    work I can tell you.

  • Cheryl Cole (Monday, July 09 12 05:37 pm BST)

    Gordon, I often get depressed when I can't mime 'live' or use autotune in the studio - but your site gets me through the dark times, pet

  • George Osbourne MP (Friday, March 23 12 07:49 pm GMT)

    Gordon, there should be tax breaks for guys like you. I'll organise a rebate for you just as soon as I've finishing screwing everyone else

  • Nick Clegg (Saturday, March 17 12 04:36 pm GMT)

    Sorry, I'd spend more time on your site Gordon, but I have to make the tea for David

  • Bran Stark (Monday, March 12 12 03:53 pm GMT)

    I'm with Hodor on this one

  • Hodor (Monday, March 12 12 03:43 pm GMT)

    Hodor! Hodor! Hodor! Hodor!

  • Vladamir Putin (Thursday, February 23 12 08:28 pm GMT)

    I agree with Assad of Syria. I am currently in the process of rigging an election and I too am so inspired by your images that I may support the next UN resolution regarding Syria.

  • President Assad of Syria (Thursday, February 23 12 08:25 pm GMT)

    Gordon, the pictures on this site of yours are an inspiration. I am currently bombing the shit out of my own people, but one look at your galleries and I am now thinking twice about this strategy.

  • Mrs Felchbottom (Tuesday, February 21 12 04:08 pm GMT)

    I'd just like to say that your hotel is the worst I have ever had the misfortune to stay in. Staff rude, Manager rude, beds rude, food rude. The 'sausage and two meatballs' dish was hugely
    inappropriate. The dots of sauce eminating from the sausage tip were the last straw.

  • The People of Greece (Tuesday, February 21 12 03:47 pm GMT)

    Gordonos, our country is in great debt and we are all feeling the effects of austerity - but your site has cheered us up and we now realise life is worth living

  • Mr F Stop (Wednesday, February 01 12 05:15 pm GMT)

    I agree with the last two comments

  • ستھریاں ندیاں، (Tuesday, January 31 12 08:30 pm GMT)

    آندے نیں۔ اے پارک سوہنیاں چٹاناں، آبشاراں، ستھریاں ندیاں، اچے سیقویا رکھاں تے ونسونے جانوراں لئی جانیا جاندا اے۔ اتلے پاسیاں ول گلیشیر دے تھلے آن نال زمین چ ڈونگیاں تریڑاں پیاں نیں، تے ندیاں تے کسیاں
    نے اپنے ڈونگے

  • 代に開発された (Tuesday, January 31 12 08:29 pm GMT)


  • David Cameron MP (Tuesday, January 31 12 10:01 am GMT)

    Gordon, ignore Kate Beckinsdale, come and photograph me all nudie

  • Kate Beckinsdale (Monday, January 30 12 09:18 pm GMT)

    Gordon, give up your job and come and work for me as my personal photographer. We could even do nudie stuff, I don't mind

  • Gordon Heaney (Saturday, December 24 11 03:51 pm GMT)

    Gordon, why are you not famous?

  • Gordon Heaney (Wednesday, December 21 11 11:09 pm GMT)

    I agree with Gordon, this is world class

  • Gordon Heaney (Tuesday, December 20 11 08:09 pm GMT)

    Gordon, this is probably the best collection of photos in existence


14/02/2015 135,000 hits

Feck knows what you're all looking at, but thanks anyway

11/11/14 105,000 hits

Thanks again for visiting. Gallery page in back in construction again, back very soon

27/10/2014 Coming up for 100,000 hits!

96, 607 so far, thanks to all who have visited

26/10/2014 Flickr on the earlobe

Have spent more time uploading photos to Flickr than here, please see my Flickr link above to have a look

15/03/14 Time for a Change

Bored of the existing design and too many images on this site, have changed the design completely and moved most of the images to Flickr.

11/12/13 Time for another update

Been a while since I uploaded any photos, will do so soon as I've taken loads recently

11/07/13 Venice ze bus due? (read in German accent)

Took the wife to Venice last month for her 40th for a long weekend, took about 2000 shots, will upload best of this week

06/07/13 TV Stardom!

Well, sort of...a the sense of 'not at all'. But surpised and pleased that BBC Scotland contacted me and aksed for full resolution versions of some images I have sent them in the past for the 'Your Pictures of Scotland' web pages. They want to display large lightbox images in the BBC reception area and would like to consider using one or more of my images. Really hope they do.

09/05/13 World's Best Site 'Get's Better' Shock

That's it, I have finally finished updating and reorganising my collection. I hope you enjoy and either buy everything or offer me a job at £100k a year. With car. And holidays equivalent to a teacher. And the same working hours.

07/05/13 9th Photo Sold!

I have decided I don't need to go on the Apprentice now, I am a successful entrepreneur on my own. I am quite happy behaving like an arse at home without behaving like that on prime time TV.

22/02/13 REVAMP!

Some photos will be unavailable to view for a while as I remove a lot of the images from this site, there are just too many mediocre ones!

15/02/13 Call me Mr Bailey

I have now sold 8 photos now! I thought it wouldn't change me, but it has. I now wear sunglasses indoors, drive like an arse and the public must not look me in the eye.

Photo Archive

09/01/13 Transferred over photo collection from one hard drive to another, turns out I have 41,600 photos. Too many??

I'm a Pro!

12/12/12 Sold 2 photos! One for $6.00 and one for 10 cents! I'm a pro! A rich pro! That's it, I'm resigning from my job. Today. Definitely...well, maybe....well, I'll give it another 6 months...or a year


01/11/12 Now using a new LEE filter system, with 0.9 ND Soft Grad and 0.9 ND Hard Grad slot in filters. Used on the Bamburgh Castle shots, seemed to make a difference but practice will be required!

New Lenses

Sept 2012 Got rid of 18-200mm EF-S and replaced with Canon EF 17-40mm F/4 L USM and Canon EF 70-200mm F/4 L IS USM lenses - brilliant to use, much improved image quality

99% done!

02/01/12 I have uploaded all my images now, just one or two things to do then that's it - the worlds least visited site is complete

Merry Xmas!

25/12/11 Nearly finished uploading the photos

Home page now online
19/12/11 It's mid-December, it's feckin freezing and I am now online! It's not even nearly finished but enjoy anyway

Real News!

RSS feed from the BBC news site

BBC News - Home

Coronavirus: Rishi Sunak to unveil 'kickstart jobs scheme' for young people (Wed, 08 Jul 2020)
The £2bn pledge for the young unemployed is part of chancellor Rishi Sunak's coronavirus recovery plan.
>> Read more

Lives ruined by damage dismissed as 'women's problems' (Wed, 08 Jul 2020)
A review finds patients were disbelieved when raising vaginal mesh and other treatment concerns.
>> Read more

Bianca Williams: Met apologises to sprinter over stop-and-search (Wed, 08 Jul 2020)
Dame Cressida Dick also said the Met voluntarily referred itself to the watchdog over any wrongdoing.
>> Read more

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